The View From My Window...

A few days ago I was in a not so bright mood. Things were not going the way that I had anticipated and I was not happy about this at all and for a brief moment I thought I had failed.
All of the soul searching, the twice daily meditations, the growth that I had acquired over the past year I thought was just a waste.
What had it all been for if I could find myself right back to that same fearful little girl that always felt she had no voice, that no one cared and that she was not worthy of true happiness.
I went through the next couple of days depressed and crying. Concerned that I had once again disappointing someone I loved, that I was once again a failure who could not and will not ever get it right.
Had it all been a delusion? Had I just been playing at being enlightened? Had I only wanted so badly to be aware that I was only pretending to be so?

Then this morning I went for a walk along the beach, the beautiful beach just steps away from my condo. I was just enjoyed being.
Then, it occurred to me that I had been such a fool. How could I have been so, well, for lack of a better word, unaware?
I was realizing something that I had known in my heart all along.
Something I constantly tell people when I am trying to comfort, to help them to remember, to help them get through some difficult journey of their own.
I had gotten so overwhelmed by all that was going. The move to Puerto Rico, the need to find work here, the anxiety over my marriage, renting the house in Savannah, trying to learn a new language, the packing and the unpacking. UUHGGG!!!
I was so overwhelmed that I had forgotten three simple things.

*1. Stay in this moment.*

When you stay focused on this moment you don't worry about what has gone on before or what is yet to happen.
You can only do what you are doing right now.
When you do your best in every moment there is no need to concern yourself with the past or the future.

*2. One never becomes fully enlightened.*

Once you think you have learned all there is to be learned the Universe sends yet another lesson your way and then school is once again back in session.

*3. One should never rush through a lesson nor should you let someone else's needs rush you through your lesson*

That little girl that I spoke of before, she will always be there deep inside. She still needs to be loved, nurtured and protected.
She is my reminder that class is about to start, so I'd better make sure my pencils are sharpened, I have plenty of paper to take notes, and pay close attention because there is always room for growth.
Peace.
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