Who Are You???

This morning, as I do every morning I looked at myself in the mirror and as I have done on more than one occasion I immediately began to see what I perceive as imperfections.

I noticed my skin at this point in time is not it's most stunning thanks to my fluctuating hormones, my eyes don't seem to be as bright as they once were and my hair...whoa, my hair was just being it's normal defiant self...and doing what ever it wanted to do. My stomach is soft and slightly paunchy and the rest of my body has that...I used to be the bomb back in the day look to it.
But there is something else there. Something just beneath the surface. Ahhh, there she is again. I knew she'd come out sooner or later.
Who is this person and why has she taken up residence in my bathroom mirror!?
What has happened to me? The woman that took so much pride in her appearance is now replaced with Ms. Blahhhh.

"That's it dammit! I am not going out like this..." neither literally or figuratively. This was going to be the last time I would greet myself in the morning with, "Who the hell are you?"

First of all, I need to determine what the answer to that question is. So my goal for the day is to do just that. Choose a door and walk through it already!

I mean for the past year and a half I have been on a mission. I have been on an inward journey trying to figure out just who and what the heck I was about. It's time to call off the search. I am beginning to think I've been using my search as a crunch of sorts. My search as been my enabler, my excuse for hiding from the sometimes big scary world out there.
I figure, if I don't know by now at at forty seven what's going on with me...then I ain't ever gonna know.

I don't want to be one of those people who's journey to self discovery takes them so deep inside of themselves they never find the way back out. I have gotten too comfortable and I don't want to be too comfortable, at least not with this person I keep finding in my mirror everyday. She's creepy!

She is beginning to look like the grown woman who moved back home with the intention of, "just until I get things together", but then ten years later she's still sleeping in the same bed and bedroom she was sleeping in when she was in the tenth grade. I don't want to be her!
Today is tough love day and she is getting the ultimatum.
Goodbye Ms. Blahhh! You have got to go!

I'll keep you posted...